Practice Teaching Blues

After months of waiting, my practice teaching started last Monday. I had my first time to be introduced as a student teacher at Antonio Maceda Integrated School. I used to fear the students thinking that they don't give due respect to teachers. Until now, I have the same fear.

In the morning there are 4 student teachers, namely: Mariz, Jem, Janerey and of course, me. We all have to start our duty at 7 and stay in the campus until 1 in the afternoon. Just last Tuesday, we were given the opportunity to have our own cooperating teachers. Jem was given to Mrs. Tangal, a first year English Teacher. Janerey was given to Mrs. Maranan, who teaches in the second year level. Mariz was given to Mrs. Valerio, who teaches third year. I was so happy to be supervised by Mrs. Dasco, a fourth year English Teacher. I thought everything would be alright.

I was wrong.

It was Wednesday when my cooperating teacher decided to let me take over three classes in the fourth year level. It was pretty simple, since I just had to give a spelling test and to facilitate a silent reading activity. I felt so pleased because I can feel the students' warmth and acceptance. I was looking forward to having more classes with them.

Later in the afternoon, I asked Ma'am Dasco if I needed to do something for the students, like class records and school register records whatnot.

She said, I would have to wait until December to teach.

Why on earth do I have to wait until December?

Maybe she doesn't trust me enough; or maybe she doesn't want me to ruin her lesson plans.

Whatever her personal reasons maybe, let me give you my own reasons as to why I should not let that happen.

1.) All my groupmates have already started teaching. I am not in the right position to compare my status to theirs but the point is I'm left behind. My other classmates already know how to use the class record and school register and I still don't.

2.) I envy them because they are making their stay at Maceda a worthwhile experience. If you look at my situation, you'd think my cooperating teacher (CT) is mad at me. That sucks bigtime. I try my best to be friendly but I guess it still doesn't work.

3.) I had two semesters for field observation. According to the student teacher's handbook, I can only have two weeks for orientation then I'd have 13 weeks for teaching. I just hope she'll give me that opportunity.

I just want to teach and learn. I just want to experience being loved by the students. I know that there's always a time for everything, but I won't compromise the rest of the time that I have with sleeping, staring at people and doing nothing.

If you look at the system that the school has, you'd say it's not enough. Students are dying to get out of the campus. Guards tolerate the students' bad habit of cutting classes. Teachers shout at students so they would shut up. Implementation of rules is not strict enough. Life there just gets so pretty boring sometimes.

Still, I stick to what I want. This system is just a challenge to face and a problem to solve. We keep on complaining about something we don't like, and complaining is the only thing that we like to do. What's worse is, we complain but in times of action, we hide and spare ourselves from all the trouble.

As I mentioned in a comment for a friend's blog entry, we should never let ourselves be eaten by the spoilage of the system. If ideals are the only things we can hold on to while avoiding educational prejudices, then we must protect these ideals by all means. As teachers, that's what we must do. That's what we should have been doing all this time.

Anyway.

I look at my students' faces everyday and I'm glad they're slowly taking my fears away.