Monday, June 29, 2009

Beats the Crap Out of Me

I feel like someone's singing this to me. XD

I Don't Think I Love You-Hoobastank

Wonder why it is that you don't see
What you've changed since we first met
And how much that is killing me
I know that I will always miss
The butterflies of our first kiss
And how you use to smile so easily

I wish that we could go back
To what we were before
But I don't think that I love you anymore, anymore


It's too hard to keep pretending
It's too hard to ignore
But I don't think that I love you anymore, anymore
I'm sorry, I'm sorryI never thought that it will come to this

I know we'll never get back
To how we were before
Cuz I know that I don't love you anymore

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen [Soundtrack Album]

Nice songs. Click here.
[I haven't seen the movie.]

Traffic in My Head

This is the third time this week
That I find myself wandering down your street - and I can't seem to give it up.
I've even stopped making these excuses for why you're stuck here in my thoughts
When it's been long enough.

I try to keep myself moving, but I'm not going anywhere..

I wait in the same spot
Brain like a parking lot
You're the traffic in my head
You're the reason why i'm wrecked
I pray for it to stop
Like rain on the sidewalk
Traffic in my head
You're the traffic in my head
There's just too much to forget

Guess I should be happy now
Everything is back to how it was
Before you came around
I'm already changing
I've even tried to find a new distraction
But still you surround
As if it's not hard enough

And I try to keep myself moving
but i'm not going anywhere

I wait in the same spot
Brain like a parking lot
You're the traffic in my head
You're the reason why i'm wrecked

I pray for it to stop
Like rain on the sidewalk
Traffic in my head
You're the traffic in my head
There's just too much to forget

A part of me thinks that i'm going crazy
The world's spinning
My vision is hazy
And none of this makes any sense
I never meant for this to end
I can do what I have to do..
If I could only get around you

I wait in the same spot
Brain like a parking lot
You're the traffic in my head
You're the reason why i'm wrecked

I pray for it to stop
Like rain on the sidewalk
Traffic in my head
You're the traffic in my head
There's just too much to forget.


This reminds me of something.

Friday, June 26, 2009

For In Death There's Life

Thank you for the music.
No scandal could ever overshadow your legacy.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Back to the Meaning of Life

Andy, Borgy and I have a midnight routine of walking from Emerald Avenue to Shaw Boulevard. On the way, we always stop at Nutrilicious to sit down and talk about issues at work and at home. Andy buys green tea, Borgy buys his mango drink, and I always go for chocolate. We smoke, laugh and sometimes sit in silence, not because we run out of words but perhaps we just want to have our share of private thoughts.

We go over frustrations at work. We think about what would happen in the next few days. Andy talks more so most of the time, Borgy just counters his claims or gives his opinions on the issues and I just listen and respond whenever I deem appropriate. At some point in our conversation last Friday, Andy initiated a topic about the path that he passionately aims to take.

Passion, as I see it, is a term so profound yet so commonly misused these days. It may refer to an intense desire to do something, or a flaming will to have somebody. Sexually, passion begets passion by an individual who expresses with no holds barred. Intellectually, it may involve religious yearning for knowledge. Professionally, it may refer to sustaining the kind of living that an individual has without losing the interest he exerts everyday.

While Andy was talking about his thoughts about his career and his short-term plans, I stared at him with my mind filled with irrelevant thoughts about what I should do once I get home, what I would do in the next couple of hours and what my breakfast would be.

Anyway, at the back of my mind, I told myself: Would I be like them? Would I be able to sustain this kind of determination to handle responsibility? Yes, I work, but will I still want to do this in the next few years?

Relatively, some filipinos have a negative trait called ningas kugon; a habit in which an individual is driven to accomplish something and in the long run loses the will to continue. Regardless of the reasons or excuses provided for the sudden loss of interest, the trait hinders a person from being spontaneous in thoughts, goals, words and actions. By failing to realize the need to finish the task, people involved in the plans are slowly affected, thus creating a bigger flaw in the movement of goals on a bigger scale.

Passion, in this regard, may seem essential, as it pushes an individual to do more. In this society where one thinks it's hopeless to make a small thing matter, passion influences people to be more intrisically motivated, thus, making them more efficient in doing the things they really want to do. Because of this, even the smallest actions become important and even the simple thoughts are given life.

To answer my question: honestly, I have no idea.

Fast forward--He asked me a question this evening while we were having our usual Nutrilicious break.

"Are you happy?"

Then I smiled.

"You mean, with everything?"

"Yup, are you generally happy?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Why are you happy?"

It depends on how you define happiness; then I stopped for a split-second to figure out if what I said was correct.

People have different definitions of happiness. If you put it that way, it's like saying that happiness is relative. Is it?

I am happy because I have money, work and food.

More significantly, I am happy because I know I am loved. I know how imperfect I am but people still decide to understand me for who who I can never be. At times I feel frustrated that I cannot make things happen as I want them but I pull strings and at the end of each string, something good still happens. I am happy because I know how to love. To express this in so blunt a statement makes it sound insincere, but yes, I know how to give love. I can look at people and tell them that I can be so emotionally attached; no more, no less. Just love. Finally, I am happy because regardless of how flawed my world could be, I can still make ends meet. At the end of the day, I can still tell myself that Hallelujah, life is good.

If there is anything more I could wish for, it is for people to realize that they are happy to have me.

Going back to the question he imposed in our conversation, I looked at him, smiled, sipped the remaining contents of my cup and finally threw my yosi.

Just like a line from a movie, I told him, "I'm happy--well, not all day everyday, but yeah, everyday."

The topic was followed by the same bastusan and green jokes that we never grew out of.

Last question, however irrelevant this may be: Can something nutricious be delicious?

Of course. Haha.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Bob Ong Says

"Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totoong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka."

Sarangae Michi Go Gata Boy. Haha.

No, thanks. XD

Monday, June 22, 2009

Teyna Mow

I may not have the power to kick you out of the palace you borrowed from the people. I may not have the microphone that rallyists use to shout for justice and freedom of the country from your subtle [or should I say clear-cut] means of stealing money;
but I have
will never have your name on it.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009




Gae eulga e olchangi han mari
GGomul GGomul hae umchi da
dweet dariga ssok~ appdariga ssok~
palddak palddak gaeguri dwetne~
Ggomul ggomul(x4) olchangi
gadweet dariga ssok~
appdariga ssok~
palddak palddak gaeguri dwetne

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Pun Intended.

June 28, 2008
UP Diliman
See YOU there

Monday, June 8, 2009

Twelve Very Random Ideas Just Popped Out of My Head

1. I need a foot spa, a hair spa, and all the other kinds of comfort I could get. My feet look horrible and my body feels internally grotesque.

2. I'm wearing a dress I swear I'm never going to wear ever again..unless I'm out to reveal deflated souls [out of humiliation] to guys.

3. I am so tired, I'm thinking of getting a powernap for 10 minutes after every hour or whenever I could get some time to close my eyes. I need time to replenish vigor.

4. I need a little brush up on my grammar, listening and speaking skills. Christ, I need a chair, a white board and an English Instructor.

5. ...and while I'm at it, I think I also need an enrichment on my vocabulary. My word bank is getting rusty.

6. Prepositions are starting to drive me mad. When I was at school I rarely [almost never] had any problem with preps. What the devil has gotten into me?

7. I love attention, a little, or even more, but I hate the idea of people looking at you and swaying eyeballs from head to foot and up again. If I ever see a pair right now, by grace of the almighty, I'll get the keys out of my bag and poke it straight into those eyes.

8. Oh, I'm starting to sound like a bitch, and starting to ACTUALLY BE like one. It's exciting.

9. Currently listening to songs you wouldn't want in your music players.

10. Currently finding ways to make new interests out of lacklusterness.

11. I can hear sarcasm in my own voice. I'm working on it on a daily basis. Hurray for efforts.

12. I love this number. :D

Hear It Straight from the Bitch

Blair: [to Jenny]
That's the thing. You need to be cool to be queen. Anne Boleyn thought only with her heart and she got her head chopped off. So her daughter Elizabeth made a vow never to marry a man. She married a country. Forget boys. Keep your eye on the prize, Jenny Humphrey. You can't make people love you, but you can make them fear you. For what it's worth, you're my Queen. I choose you.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Alms, Alms

I'm tired of begging.

When you can VOLUNTARILY give to other people...

I'm here BEGGING for what I deserve in the first place.

This is starting to get so exhausting.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Rainy Day Meditations

I've realized that we're both not ready to commit ourselves into bigger responsibilities. You, being so self-absorbed and drawn into your world of camaraderie and friendship aka farce familial ties, and me being this too worried and/or obsessed workaholic freak.

I've realized I am just another ordinary person in the life of all people I consider important. When my people leave and promise to back back, do they go back because they want to be with me, or will they go back because I ask them to?

Monday, June 1, 2009

Oh, You've Got to Love This Guy.

Sheldon is a theoretical physicist with an IQ of 187. Sheldon possesses some qualities commonly associated with being a prodigy or one with autism spectrum disorder, such as an inflated ego, social ineptitude, a lack of empathy, OCPD, and his purely logical state, which mostly annoy his friends.

He fails to understand not only the simplest sarcastic jokes, but also regards Penny's sadness over her break up with blatant confusion. That isn't to say Sheldon doesn't have a conscience; he's simply more likely to do what's scientifically ethical rather than morally and socially ethical (break into Penny's home to organize her things).

Sheldon is very obsessive compulsive and as a result has a schedule he must stick to (such as going to the comic book store on certain days, taking a certain path to work, eating specific food items on specific days, or knocking on the door a certain number of times while repeating the person's name he is seeking with a particular frequency).

No one else can touch his food, or it is thrown out. He refuses to sit anywhere other than his designated spot on the couch; other than for the optimal characteristics of the cushion and location he spouts off, this is part of his refusal to accept change, just like with the extra dumpling he couldn't reconcile. If Sheldon is complicit in a lie, he must exhaust all of his efforts to make it believable.

Sheldon has a system of strikes he places on someone if something is done by this person that violates his rules. He rambles on about his imaginative ideas and theories, but does not listen to his friend concerning his research. Sheldon cannot drive an automobile, and needs Leonard to take him places; he feels someone of his intellect doesn't need to learn how to drive. He has childish qualities that extend beyond even his friends' shared interests in comics, science fiction, computer and video games, and toys, as he must get his way (e.g., naming the Caltech Physics Bowl team) and needs his mother to care for him when he is sick.

Among the guys, he shows the least interest in women. As a corollary, it is apparent that he believes everyone else to be intellectually inferior to him, including fellow physicists and even Isaac Newton.