Thursday, August 20, 2009

Empty

I'm waiting for a miracle.

This is so hard to explain. When somebody waits for a miracle, there is a big chance of missing things that truly matter. Because of faith, he sees past through all the he thinks are unnecessary. I'm in that same spot. While everyone else is making a move, trying to prove themselves that they can do something, here I am waiting for the opportunity and the right moment to act, when I knew all along I should have acted long before. Still, I wait because I think things will be a lot better if I do.

What if I fail?

I am afraid of knowing the answer.

Slowly, I see myself regressing. This isn't what I want to put myself into but because of different consequences that I have to be responsible for, I cannot move forward. It's so frustrating.

I envy people who start doing things for themselves not because they want to but because they have to. I can't be entirely like them.

These days, I am a vacuole, or a big _________ that I need to fill up. It sucks.

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